Reflections on Aging, Power, & Womanhood
Reflections on Birthdays and Womanhood
I am generally quite reflective (more than normally—ha) from October (my birthday month) through January, the start of the New Year. It is a time for me to contemplate what has happened in the past year, what’s working/what isn’t, what I want for the year to come, what I’m grateful for, etc. I also celebrate myself for another rotation around the sun!
When I turned 40, I really struggled to accept that number. I thought, this is not what I imagined my life would be...then it occurred to me that I hadn’t really contemplated life past the age of 40, mostly due to living rather carelessly in my earlier years, I suppose. What I'd tell you with age 40 well in the rearview, is appreciate where you are—right now. It is the oldest you’ve been and the youngest you’ll ever be again.
I am very cognizant of the stages of womanhood and how those stages impact our sense of self. When we are young, and first coming into our adolescence, things are so tricky. As I’ve started to experience perimenopause, I've thought this is just like going through puberty but with much less joint lubrication and energy!
Most of our mothers didn’t discuss the changes our bodies would go through then, or now. If your mother is like most women born as baby boomers and before, she’ll say she doesn’t remember and likely that her mother didn’t discuss any of that with her either.
Can we commit, right now, to break this cycle of missing information and shame about aging?
Our bodies are truly miraculous, and we have survived years of being ignored by medical professionals, dismissed by mental health professionals, minimized by men who label us “scary” when we have a menstrual cycle or “crazy” when we go through menopause.
I’ll tell you what our society is most afraid of...it’s women who come into their power. I have finally reached the age when I have so few fucks to give about what others think of me, while being fully aware of how many years I wasted giving all my fucks to those who never deserved my deep consideration.
If I can pass along anything, and trust me, I’ll try to every chance I get; it's my birthday wish that you start to see how wildly capable you are of absolutely anything you want and equally as deserving!
Stop saying yes when you want to say no.
Stop smiling or laughing when someone says something offensive to you.
Start seeing a therapist.
Start journaling.
Start doing yoga and getting massages to love and appreciate your body.
Start listening to your voice and your truth instead of the endless noisy lies they’ve been telling you about yourself.
You, beautiful one, are a cycle breaker. Today, break the cycles that deny your truth. Scream your truth from the tops of the hills and when you get tired, come find me and I’ll scream too.
